Love: A Mirage Or An Overrated Emotion

Love: A Mirage Or An Overrated Emotion ( by Adebisi Adeniji)

I am not the type to go whining about feelings and emotions but the boredom of the first semester holiday coupled with the urge to do something new spurred me to put my thoughts down on a subject every youth will be ever-willing to talk about; LOVE. This is purely my own thoughts and opinion, so please feel free to express your view if contrary as comment.

The glass cup shattered against the wall and its pieces lay dismantled on the ground, scattered! As much as it shocked me, it surely was the real picture of how Stephen’s heart was. His fragile heart had been callously thrown against the wall of betrayal and like the shattered pieces of glass, had been left in tatters. I could only shake my head in pity with the way he whimpered. He sat there, cursing and calling, lamenting with such scary fury. Love was no longer love. Deola had been his eyes, nose, heart and even the air he breathed. He had done everything for her, most times forsaking me his friend! But I did not care, which good friend would clog the wheel of his friend’s happiness? All his savings, his hopes, his conjured love had gone with the witch. That was what he called her now. The story of bliss had begun to bleed and the moments of happiness had transformed into memories of bitterness. A story of lost love though sometimes I really wondered if they had really loved each other. From my end, it was a business transaction. She was hot and he had lots. And when the weather was cold, the daises behold. Deola’s tongue was made of caramel and Stephen could only mutter little resistance when she sweet talked him as he revelled in his fantasies, his infatuation in the coats of love. And when his well began to show signs of drought, Deola’s water drawer withdrew and sought another well. Her status was mermaidic and must be sustained. The show ended and the actors spurted into sudden reality. A rude awakening! But were they ever really in love?

 Theirs was not the first, nor will be the last! The story recycles everywhere! A boy claims to love a girl. A girl claims to be in love with a boy. A man and a woman will say it to all willing to hear that they are in love. A lady and a dude will state love as the reason for being in a relationship with one another. Both parties will claim to be in love but their actions will prove otherwise. The boy is only in the relationship because the girl knows how to give it to him hot (do not question me further). The girl holds on to the boy like a leech because he is literally her ATM, she withdraws money from him as she pleases. The man is tolerating the woman because her father, a political Godfather has promised him maximum support in the next elections, the woman on her part is stuck with the man because of the fruits it has produced. One way or the other, love now has its price, like any other commodity on sale. The sleepless nights, unreciprocated sacrifices, the multiple abortions, the emotional bankruptcy, physical wounds, psychological illness, the list is endless.

  The word “Love” is supposed to be sacred but alas, it is the most frequently used word today, people say “I Love You” then they will greet each other good morning without even meaning it in most cases. Love is supposed to be patient and kind but a lady will ditch her man immediately he loses his job. What will her friends say if they hear her boo is jobless and can’t afford to buy her the gold they agreed on buying for Lola’s wedding? Love is not jealous yet a nigga once left his girlfriend’s brain spilled on the streets of Lagos for cheating on him. A woman reminded the head of the house she paid the children’s fee so he doesn’t have a say in the house anymore yet love is supposed to avoid all forms of rudeness and arrogance. Love does not insist on its own but how dare his girlfriend refuse to get rid of that thing in her stomach? Does she want to ruin his life? Dude calm down! You both joined forces in the process that led to the end result. The love of today only bears all things when the going is good, it is for better for stay, for worse for go. Love ends when the boo no longer has money for her to maintain her “big girl” status. Love no longer endures, it enjoys.

Is this Love just overrated or it just does not exist? Is it a mirage or is it that people have mixed it up with such vices as selfishness, deceit, betrayal, disappointment and every other word associated with negativity you can think about or how else can one explain a so-called lover boy flooding social networking sites with his ex’s nudes because she called off her abusive relationship or a lover girl bathing her one time sweetheart in acid because “if I can’t have him, nobody else will”. It sickens me to think that at one point or the other, these people would have claimed to be in love.

  At one point in our lives, we will claim to have fallen head-over-heels in love, complete with butterflies in our stomach. We will declare it to all that cares to listen that we have found The One but then we come to the shocking realization that what we fell in was in fact infatuation; a mere figment of our own imagination. We find out to our own detriment that the idol we fell for has feet of clay hence we drift apart from that One, sometimes with so much pain; the time and effort put in now a waste; expectations cut short, emotional trauma, physical wounds, the challenges of having to put the broken pieces of our shattered hearts together, all these hurts. It will only do us all some good if people can in all honesty tell each other “I am in Infatuation with you” and save the other party a rude awakening, let people know their places in your life and let them decide if they want to stay or move on. There is no point tagging people along and giving them false hope for nothing.

  We would continue to pick up the broken pieces of our hearts and move on for he who gives up is the ultimate loser. We would continue to pretend all is well even when we are hurting deep inside.     We would continue to make stupid sacrifices and hope it works out. We’d continue to take chances. We would continue to hope the next one is better.

We would continue to fall in love (or lust as the case may be). Maybe, just maybe the right one will come and make us forget previous bitter experiences putting a smile on our face. We can only wish and pray but then, I look around me and I keep wondering to myself after seeing what lovers make each other go through and what I have been through all in the name of “Love”. Will true love ever find me?

-Written By Adebisi Adeniji  [@SisiBisi]